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As a wife or girlfriend, do you ever wonder what it is that your man wants? Do you ever ask yourself the question, “How am I supposed to treat my husband?” Hundreds, if not thousands, of books have been written addressing the question of what does a man really want. The Book of Proverbs, written thousands of years ago, answers this question succinctly and accurately. For those who will listen, the truth is available to learn.

Your Momma may have taught you that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Your culture may have taught you that what a man desires above all else is sexual pleasure. Your insecurity may have told you that a man wants you to simply agree with him all the time. These are all smokescreens.

Proverbs 19:22 states, “What a man really wants is unfailing love. It is better to be poor than to be a liar.” Listen to that! Grab hold of the truth. What a man really, really wants more than pleasure, obedience, good food, success in business, education, prestige, fame or honor is TO BE LOVED FAITHFULLY.

This should be clear in a society riddled with broken relationships. But even if the divorce rate is not high in your country, the principle is still true. What a man wants the most is to know that he is loved, completely accepted for who he is, regardless of flaws, warts, sins, failures or in spite of success, power or wealth.

How can you bring healing to your relationship with your husband? How can you build a relationship with your fiance? Love him. Express that love in the myriad of ways available to you. But focus on the simple fact of accepting him for who he is, and speak that out of your mouth and your actions clearly and without reservation.

But the verse doesn’t end there. It is balanced by this truth: “better to be a poor man than a liar.”

Huh? What does that have to do with the first part of the verse? Everything.

How many times do you hide from questions, refuse the searchlight of relationship or attempt to cover over the reality of your true self? Why do you do that? Is it because you have lived a truly wicked life? Do you have skeletons in the closet which you want to hide forever?

You can hide things from others, but in doing so, you become a liar. You live a lie. You exist in perception rather than in reality. And in doing so, you never will know if you are truly being loved, because you will always wonder whether or not people would truly love you if they knew the truth about you.

That is the worst sentence of all on this earth: to live a life which perpetually doubts those around us who tell us they love us. You can never truly receive love if you are not sure if it is genuine.

And that is why the wise man said it is better to be poor than a liar. If you live openly and honestly, you run a great risk. You run the risk of rejection from those who have told you they love you. You run the risk of losing a relationship. But it is far better than living the lie.

And don’t forget this truth: if you live in transparency, you also run the risk of being able to accept love in a greater measure than you have ever known, both from people and your Heavenly Father through Jesus Christ.